Name: neener
School: USC Marshall School of Business
Status: Employed...finally
E-mail: Click here!
Reason for blogging: I'm incredibly self-absorbed.
I'm listening to...
::"Stay Beautiful," The Last Goodnight
::"Spaceman," The Killers
::"Green Light," John Legend
::"Superstar," Lupe Fiasco

I'm watching...
::The Office

I'm reading...
::Taiwan, A Political History, by Denny Roy
::The Devil and Miss Prym, by Paulo Coehlo

I've just seen...
::Slumdog Millionaire
::I Love You, Man
::The Reader
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
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11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
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11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011
10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011
12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012
02/01/2012 - 03/01/2012
03/01/2012 - 04/01/2012
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
"Smoldering," That's Me.  
You might think that "smoldering" is obviously a great word to describe me. That's because when you see the world "smoldering," you probably think of "sexy," "sensual," and other words that perfectly depict me. So it's not a surprise to me that it might be a surprise to you that I'm not talking about my undeniable attractiveness today. Don't feel bad, it's an understandable mistake.

No, today, I am talking about my smoldering fury. Usually, I am civil and polite, my anger slowly burning within. But there are times when life throws fuel on the coals of my wrath, and when that happens, don't get burned by the flames of my rage! (I'll stop there because I don't want to whip out the thesaurus for more synonyms of "fury." And yes, my vocabulary is severely limited.)

There has been much fuel of late, my friends. Much fuel. And the only thing to do is let it burn. This means I am forced to call out all the things/people that fanned the flames.

WaMu/Chase (or whatever you're calling yourself these days): I fully supported you through your troubled times, but now I am pissed at you. Pissed. The first time you hit me with a return fee because there was an issue with a check I deposited, I let that slide. Mistakes happen. You told me there was something illegible on the check. I took care of it, didn't I? I got another check. A legible one. And then you hit me again with a return fee when you couldn't process the second check. So, it turns out when you said that there was something illegible on the check, that wasn't the reason the first check didn't go through. Dammit, I did what you asked and now you're penalizing me again because you didn't give me the right info? But you weren't done with me, were you? No, then you had to make me go through your stupid automated telephone system that is idiotically set up so that if a person doesn't remember their telephone access code, they can't access their account at all. You couldn't have multiple ways to access your account, say by providing two sets of identifying information like a SSN or a DOB, could you? What if it was an emergency? Your customers would be f*ed. Yeah, I dropped the F-bomb (kinda)! You forced me to enter random access codes over and over and over again until by some stroke of luck, I figured out my stupid access code. And THEN, when I finally got to a real person, I had to listen to some detailed, lame ass explanation about bank fees. I have an MBA, okay? I sat through activity-based costing. I know why there is a fee! But I also sat through marketing, and perhaps you would like to know something about customer service and how it's not nice to slap a loyal customer with a fee TWICE for the same damn thing. You better tread carefully around me from now on, WaMu/Chase.

And Microsoft Excel, what the heck do you think you are doing? I thought we were friends, but now I'm not so sure. Why do you have to be so disrespectful of my time? Oh, sure, people love to throw around the "user error" explanation, and I've done my share of that. But, really? After working against the clock to update the most tedious report I have ever had the displeasure to be responsible for, after the hours I spent copying and researching journal entries, after all the modifications I made to streamline what I could of this twisted process, you decide that when I do the responsible thing and save my file, you're just gonna make all the tabs in my workbook magically disappear. And no, all you Excel nerds, the sheets were not hidden. They were gone. A workbook without any worksheets. Oh, that's just hilarious. Is that amusement on my face or hysteria? Take a wild guess.

Oh, and I can't forget you, coworkers. My dear, dear coworkers. When I am checking my work email from home minutes before I have to leave for the courthouse because I am doing my civic duty (i.e., jury duty) and see an urgent request for some reporting which I then quickly forward to the person who trained me on similar reporting with the question, "Do you think you can do this if they can't wait til tomorrow?", is it absolutely necessary for said person to forward my message to their manager and somehow imply that I am saddling them with work that is no longer their responsibility? Is it necessary for this incident to spark off an email chain with my manager regarding the necessity of building "back up processes" which includes a grudging "we can do this for you this time because it's urgent"? Listen to me, people. Let's try not to be such douchebags. If you can't do something for me, you can tell me or find an easy workaround (which you eventually did). You don't have to be so douche-baggy about it. You don't have to imply that I'm some kind of unreliable twit and gripe and gripe and gripe. I apologize for not having a backup for an ad hoc request when the only other person in my group is as new as me, and frankly, it's not unreasonable of me to forward the ad hoc request to the person most acquainted with the requester and in the best position to gauge how to fulfill the request. Douchebaggery, politics, and the marking of territory. Feel free to do it except when I'm involved. Don't make me school you!

Whew. I'm tired. I think the flames have died down a bit. Until the next time...

Labels: ,

Workplace politics: that's why I started my own company. The expression "building back up processes" alone gives me the Office Space willies. Now, I am the boss (and I curse him out regularly), and if I have an issue with a client or a contractor, I just fire them. Bwa ha ha ha haaa.

BTW, did you read my ode to Chase?
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EBITAS (noun):
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