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Name: neener
School: USC Marshall School of Business
Status: Employed...finally
E-mail: Click here!
Reason for blogging: I'm incredibly self-absorbed. |
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I'm listening to...
::"Stay Beautiful," The Last Goodnight
::"Spaceman," The Killers
::"Green Light," John Legend
::"Superstar," Lupe Fiasco
I'm watching...
::24
::The Office
I'm reading...
::Taiwan, A Political History, by Denny Roy
::The Devil and Miss Prym, by Paulo Coehlo
I've just seen...
::Slumdog Millionaire
::I Love You, Man
::The Reader
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All You Single Ladies! (Part 1) Let me tell you about finding a man...Korean-drama style! As we all know, art imitates life. Wait, or is it the other way around? Oscar Wilde said that "Life imitates art far more than art imitates life." Wait, let me hop off the tangent train before it leaves the station.
Back to my point. If we assume that we can learn how to live our lives from art (and yes, it may be stretching it to call K-dramas "art"), then K-dramas have a lot to teach us about love. Here are some tips I have gleaned from all the K-dramas I have been watching during my period of unemployment. Go forth, use them, and be prosperous in love. They always work on TV, so they must work in real life!
Know What You're Looking For
First, you have to look for the right man. The ideal man is taller than the average male. He works out on a regular basis. He usually has a mane of hair, and I do mean a mane. Ideally he uses up as much shampoo as you do when he washes his hair. He is very wealthy, and is usually the first or second son in a family that runs a large company. If he is on the younger side, he should be spoiled and bratty. If he is older, he is snobby and condescending. Don't worry if you think he's a jackass at first....that's all part of the story! He should be a perpetual bachelor with a mother who is desperately trying to get him married off. He's really good at thwarting her plans, though. The ideal man has suffered some sort of childhood trauma or has lost his first love or...well, basically he needs to have some emotional baggage which he reveals through rare moments of vulnerability. This makes it easier for you to forgive him his trespasses...and oh, he will trespass. A lot. There should be another woman who is socially and financially his equal and wants him for herself. She should be pretty hot. Nothing is better for a relationship than a love triangle. Nothing!
Are You In the Right Place?
To have a successful relationship (after many long episodes without success), you must first be in the right place in your life. The good news, ladies, is that age doesn't matter. You can be in or just out of college...you can be in your 30s. The bad news? You have to be thin. Even if you are supposed to be "fat," you are in a culture where "fat" people are actually thin. So start dieting. As a guideline, you want to be about 1/4 of the mass of a typical American. It also helps to be very poor. If you're not poor, then you should at least be in some sort of financial jam where you need some money right away. You should live at home with only one parent, usually the mother. Your mother should be nosy and always harping on you to get married. She will often chase you around the house while beating you with some sort of object and yelling with a super annoying, incredibly high screech. It's tough, but you just have to put up with it because you're the heroine.
Now the stage is set. Stay tuned for Part 2, when those love sparks start to fly!
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When I learn a new word, I'll put it here so you can learn too!
EBITAS (noun):
Abbreviation for "Earnings Before Income Tax, Amortization, and SGARA." Next week, find out what SGARA is.
Click here for previous "new words." |
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